I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize