38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
