Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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