DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
