im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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