Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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