A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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