"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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