I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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