Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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