you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
babies were throwing up all over the place
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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