So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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