im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
