girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
