We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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