threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
