Got a toothbrush?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
