so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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