I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
