WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
