My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
