Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
