i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
