We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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