We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
