I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
