YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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