She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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