Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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