She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Are these your boobs on my camera?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
