hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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