...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
