you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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