The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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