Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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