I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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