How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
