You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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