i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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