Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
