How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
