If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I looked at my own cervix.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
