I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
