My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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