Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
