watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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