btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
