Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
