Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
