I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
