This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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