maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
