Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
