come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
